Monday, November 23, 2009

Nasty Things To Eat.

Whilst watching "I`m a Celebrity get me out of here!" last night,( great show), I thought of a few of the more unpleasant things I have had to eat. In Mongolia ,for example, I was treated to what Andy termed `lucky dip soup`. Basically, this was an offal stew and you never knew what you were going to get, eyeballs bollocks, the lot.
In Sumatra, Sahar(my chief guide), once treated me to a bowl of spicy chicken heads.
Whilst over in the Congo, I have eaten all manner of strange things, caterpillars ,bat wing etc.
Perhaps the worst was the monkey. One particular monkey.
My team were in the middle of the Likoula swamps and we were starving.Whilst I would not let the Bantu tribesman on my team hunt any rare species , I understood that I had to allow them to hunt common species for survival, as they had always done.
Roland, my best hunter and I, were inching forward,when he suddenly spotted a black and white Colobus monkey in the tree above us. It had seen us too, but regrettably for both me and it, was busily masturbating!
I gave the order to shoot it. However, the unfortunate beast had clearly past the point of no return ,for its imminent death merely prompted it to go faster, in a dogged attempt to `finish`!
It died with a smile on its face. I did without the garnish.I don`t care what these celebrity chefs say, sometimes seasoning can be unneccessary....

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